"Love After Lock Up" | "Life After Lock Up" | Domestic Violence / Abuse Awareness | Stereotypes

 

 

Transcript

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Check out divorcing adults.com. Store divorcing adults.com on your favorite podcasting platform on YouTube and rumble. Follow on Twitter, LinkedIn and Tik tok hi, my name is Vanessa and today's topic is going to be about domestic violence for this video and for this podcast. Some portions of this video podcast cast may be disturbing for some viewers, so viewer discretion is advised. My goal with this video and this podcast today and by the way, if you're listening to the podcast, there's going to be visual segments to give greater context to what I'm talking about that you would be benefited potentially from seeing visually and not just hearing because the audio has actually been removed from these segments. So you'll just hear me talking when I'm showing the footage of domestic violence incidences which have aired on a TV show called Love After Lockup and or Life After Lockup. I'm not quite sure which one because Love After Lockup. Just in case you're not aware of the show. It actually is about prisoners that have been incarcerated. Men and women. And they have met in many cases. From what I've seen. Their significant other while they were in prison. From letters and phone calls and websites is how they communicate and this is covered in great detail. So then they get out of prison and they meet up with their significant other and they try to pursue a relationship with that person. And that's where it gets really, really interesting. So this has become my favorite TV show as of right now. I always have a different TV show that's my favorite. Reality TV is one of the things I definitely do watch to some extent. And this is my latest reality TV show that I have been paying a lot of attention to. They also have, I think it's a spin off, I think called A Light After a Lockup, and the show is continuing onward. But one thing that I really noticed that caught my attention about the show is that there's a lot of domestic violence, clear domestic violence that is featured on the show. And that really caught my attention and I found it to be different from anything I've seen on television really before. And I don't watch a lot of TV, so maybe I'm just missing all the domestic violence that's going on elsewhere, I don't know. But whatever the case, I decided to do an educational video to raise awareness about domestic violence, education about domestic violence, and to break stereotypes surrounding domestic violence. So, for example, when I was interning at a domestic violence and sexual assault center many years ago, I was going through one of my graduate programs and it was a requirement for me to obtain these different hours I needed to get this experience. And there was a brochure that to this day really stays with me and really bothered me because it perpetuated a stereotype. A stereotype where women are always the victims of domestic violence. And men are always the perpetrators of domestic violence, which is false. This is not true. The truth is that women can and do engage in acts of domestic violence against their male partners in romantic relationships. And this is something I'm showing today through this video from the love after walkup life after walkup TV shows. And these are just a few of the clips I was able to obtain and edit down for the purpose of this educational domestic violence awareness video and podcast. This is not all of the domestic violence clips from this show love After Lockup, Life After a Lockup. Because I wasn't able to obtain all the clips. I couldn't find them all online, trust me. I tried to show women engaging in act of domestic violence against their male partner that's featured on the show. And the whole purpose of this is for education and awareness that women can engage in acts of domestic violence against men, against male partners, in romantic relationships. It's not always the other way around. And just get back to my experience working at Domestic Violent Sexual Assault Center when I was an intern in graduate school many. Many years ago. For one semester. I think it was. Or maybe two. I forget. Whatever the case. The brochure had a woman with a black eye around her eye and it was being communicated in that brochure that a man. Her male romantic partner. Had inflicted that injury upon her. Well, of course this does happen. I know this does happen. Women also are capable of domestic violence. It's my opinion from the life that I've lived in the different parts of the country that I've lived in, that there is a bit of sexism in this and gender discrimination in this, in wanting and some people wanting to believe and to perpetuate the myth that women are not capable of things that men are capable of. So, for example, I actually took a multicultural accounting class many years ago. It was a total nightmare, by the way. And I was discriminated against in my classroom because I was a woman that had served in the military, the army, on active duty. And I had a professor and multiple classmates who did not want to believe that that was possible or that women could serve on active duty in the military, in the army, and contribute anything meaningful whatsoever. I had a male classmate who had also served on active duty in the army. That person, once they found out that they had served, was praised and they talked about him with such admiration. But when they found out I had served, I endured a whole semester of sexist berating belittling remarks about my military service. I perceived military service because I am a woman, and they did not believe that women were capable of serving in the military. This is a form of gender discrimination. And yes, I did report it repeatedly and I did deal with it. And that's a whole nother long story and in my opinion it was not dealt with accordingly or appropriately whatsoever. But it is believed by some that women are not capable of what men are capable of. For example, I've also had comments made to me that I should not be mowing my own lawn. In the past when I've mowed my own lawn at a property that I resided at, I've been told by some people I shouldn't be taking on my trash, that a man should do that, that's a man's work. And obviously I do not buy into these sexist, gender discrimination stereotypes or myths whatsoever. Women are capable of what men are capable of as well. And so I do believe that stereotypes about domestic violence are rooted in, in my opinion, from my life experience and observations in gender discrimination and in sexism where men have reported incidences of domestic violence from their female romantic partners and not been believed. There were incidences where police may come to a home and not believe that the man is being victimized and assaulted physically by their female romantic partner, but instead the other way believe the other way around, even if it's not true. And more specifically with the military community, there are situations where men may report in the past I've heard of men reporting incense domestic violence from their female partners and being laughed at, not being believed, not being heard, not being respected and not receiving real assistance. That was in the past. I heard about this happening. I don't know about right now, but my point here is there's a lot of domestic violence stereotypes in this and there's a lot of gender discrimination and sexism that I believe to be rooted into these domestic violence stereotypes because gender discrimination as well as all forms of discrimination are rampant, in my opinion, throughout our American society and they need to be eradicated. So, as you can see from the domestic violence clips I've shown from the Love After Walk of Life After Walk up TV show, women can and do engage in acts of domestic violence. You can see women in these clips slapping their partners, hitting their partners and engaging in acts of domestic violence. I also perceive even though different people have different opinions and different organizations will put out different information about domestic violence. But I have seen that domestic violence is very, very common in family and it's not just between romantic partners. It can be between. From what I've seen and observed through the years, working with countless people, countless situations, countless hours, brothers and sisters can beat up on each other. Sisters and brothers can beat up on each other. Cousins can beat up on each other. Domestic violence can be psychological and not physical. I actually did a podcast about this. And psychological abuse can be even more damaging potentially than physical abuse because the effects can be long lasting on someone's life. It can really damage their wellbeing, their self esteem, their self worth, their self confidence. There's more than just one type of domestic violence. It's not always physical, it can be psychological. It's not always men beating up on women. It can be women abusing men as well. There can be many different types of domestic violence in a family unit. And it can also be, in my opinion, in a community. It can be a neighbor punching out another neighbor because they have dispute over a rose bush. It could be any number of things of extended family members or family members fighting in their homes, knocking about, get along, and escalating a rising to the point of violence. That is an example. Also can be abusive behavior that is verbal, that is psychological, and also damaging to that person. So this is just some information about domestic violence and information I'd like to get out there to raise awareness about it. Years ago, I went to a workshop where domestic violence stereotypes were being perpetuated, and I don't want that to continue on. And so I am using this video in this podcast, time today, as a platform to raise awareness and education about multiple types of domestic violence and widen people's understanding and grasp of domestic violence and make it more wide instead of as narrow as it is for many people. In the description below this video, you're going to go ahead and find a link to a domestic violence Power and Control Wheel. I feel this is very important information to provide because frequently what I've seen in my work experience and even currently, is that the resources that are provided are focused on pronouns that emphasize men. So he instead of she he or her him, for example. So this Power Control wheel, so it takes the sexism, in my opinion, out of the domestic violence. It takes the stereotypes out of the domestic violence and just focuses on the abusive behavior and the warning signs and the educational information. So, as you may have noticed, I featured it around me periodically in this video. Take a look at it and take a look at the link below in the description of this podcast and video so that you can see Power Control Wheel. I think it's an awesome informational educational tool. Feel free to share it. You can see where it was sourced from. Thank you. All right, I hope this information was helpful and have a great day. Bye.


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